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How to deal with being financially burdened


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You may think you've got your life and finances under control, and then the unexpected happens. In my personal opinion, there is nothing more taxing than dealing with money problems and the resulting financial stress. When you're figuring out how to deal with being financially burdened, there are things you can do to deal with what's causing the stress (usually a shortfall of cash or being unable to meet basic financial obligations) and then there are important tasks to tackle to deal with the emotional fallout from dealing with money stress.

First, what is financial stress?

Financial stress is anxiety, depression, and worry about how you'll meet your financial obligations.

Here are some examples of how this could manifest in real life:

  • Lying awake in bed at night worrying about how to pay your bills
  • Feeling guilty when you know you overdid it with your credit card spend
  • Swiping your debit card and crossing your fingers, hoping it doesn't decline

When can financial stress strike?

Hopefully, your life isn't in a loop of constant money and financial stress. But, every person (no matter how well off) will have periods when they'll be stressed about money. Whether it's a lack of money causing the stress, or anxiety and frustration about a particular money move.

Below are just a handful of times when I have had to deal with money stress.

And so on and so on. Money stress is sneaky in that way – one minute you're fine, and the next you're back in an old place.

Even in the best of situations: where you have an emergency fund and plenty of money coming in to deal with the unexpected, managing money can be emotionally stressful.  Below are the methods I've found to be the most effective tips for kicking it to the curb.

How to deal with being financially burdened

There are a million different financial scenarios that can lead to someone feeling financially burdened and overwhelmed by money. But no matter the situation, there are only two options for solving a money problem: trim your expenses to the bone or find/earn more money to meet your financial obligations. Here are other options to try when you're trying to financially un-burden yourself.

Strategies to deal with the emotional side of financial stress

Exercise

No surprise here, as exercise has been proven to be one of the most effective treatments for anxiety and depression, but exercise works for money stress too!  I find that when I exercise I have more energy for the hustle, which is important for when you're trying to earn extra in order to meet your financial goals.

So it's a double win- exercise to decrease stress while increasing energy and productivity.

Tackle a (small) project

When things are out of control, it's calming to focus on the things you can control. A project that doesn't require a lot of brain power, but can still help you feel incredibly productive.

Get the groceries, balance your budget, paint the trim in your den, clean out your inbox, organize your Dropbox, brush the dog's teeth…whatever.Often those nagging little to-do's are the perfect antidote for feeling crazed, at least in the short term. It won't help you long-term, but sometimes its just about getting through the day.

Talk to someone

You'd talk to someone about your emotional troubles…why not your financial ones? And you don't even have to speak with an accountant or CFP (although it's probably a good idea if you have persistent issues managing money.) You could speak to your regular therapist, or find someone on Talkspace to chat with.

Yes, it costs money to speak to a therapist. But sometimes speaking to someone can make you feel a great deal better about what's going on in your financial situation. You can talk to a friend or family member, and if you have one you feel comfortable with, you should. Often, it's better to have an objective person to listen, and that way you can share without fear of being judged.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm a big therapy advocate.

Write a daily affirmation

At one point, I was in a low place at the end of another failed relationship. Tired of hearing me whine about this guy I couldn't get over, my friend Carrie (a life coach in training, even if she doesn't know it yet!) told me about the power of positive thinking and how it might help me transform my life.

She told me to write and say daily, “Things are always working out for me.”

And she was right. That small daily affirmation ended up changing my entire life.

It's done wonders for my overall attitude and outlook. (And now I've been able to manifest more money in my life as a result.)

So now, when things (especially money matters) seem out of control, I remember my mantra. I write it down. I think about it for just a second. And things are just a little bit better when I'm done.

Remind yourself that things are only temporary

I'm going to musical theater nerd out for a little bit. In the show “Avenue Q” there is this song at the end called “For Now.” The song's message is to demonstrate that everything in life, both good and bad, is only “for now.”

Right now you have money stress. But in six months, you may not. You could win the lottery tomorrow or receive a promotion. You could get a roommate, or a side hustle and dramatically change your financial situation.

The point is: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN! 

Money comes in and it goes. Marie Forleo has a great video I recommend all the time where she advocates people come from a place of abundance rather than “money scarcity.” If positive thoughts influence our actions and outcomes, it makes sense to think that way about our bank accounts as well.

The TL: DR – Accept that you're in survival mode

Let all your other money goals and “must dos” fall by the wayside. If you're in financial survival mode, don't guilt yourself for not paying off debt, contributing to retirement, or making significant strides in your savings. Now isn't the season for that. Another season will come.

The point of managing our money well isn't to be able to never have financial hardships or times of financial stress. The point of managing money well is to be able to handle those trickier money seasons when they come for us. As always, when learning how to deal with being financially burdened, I'm going to advocate for giving yourself as much grace as possible. It's okay to be in survival mode and just get by.

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