A few months ago, I was approached about a big career opportunity – the exact kind I’d dreamed about. A director-level, content strategy role that would effectively double my salary, provide unlimited vacations, and – to boot – was within walking distance from my apartment. In short, it was perfect. I’d prayed to the universe and it had delivered in a big way.
But (there is always a but) this company had big, big issues with my blog. And really, just my “outside the business” activity in general.
I was torn. I was just finding my “groove” again with the blog, but this felt like a huge opportunity and the next logical step in a career I decided to dedicate to content marketing. I continued to pursue the candidacy for the job….
…but a big stomachache began to brew in my gut.
“I don’t understand you,” my fiancé said, “You were literally trying to sell your blog just a few months ago. You said you didn’t want to keep it anyway.”
But I couldn’t provide a great answer – to my fiance´ as to why I wanted to get rid of it, and to my potential future employers as to why I wanted to keep it.
So, I put everything on pause and went on vacation for a week with my parents. After lots of journaling and rest, I realized – it wasn’t so much the blog itself I was afraid to get rid of. I realized that all along this blog, the website, and my side hustle had been my security blanket.
I’m blessed (yes, I used that word) as a blogger-turned-business. As long as I have this website, I’ll always be able to fend for myself in some way. In lieu of large amount of savings, in essence, this website is my own form of a f*ck off fund.
Not Familiar with a F*ck Off Fund?
A “F*ck Off Fund” is a term popularized by writer and all-around badass Paulette Perhach in 2016. It’s sort-of like an emergency fund (actually, I think it’s exactly like an emergency fund because you’d usually use it in an “emergency” type situation) but it’s meant to be a stash of cash for women (or, well anyone) to have and use in the event you want to say “f*ck off” to a person or situation, but fear you can’t because of financial reasons.
I find the term “f*ck off fund” way more interesting and fun to use and 1000% more empowering than e-fund, but you make your own choices. See here for more information and the genesis of the “f*ck off fund”.
So, the blog/side hustle is my own f*ck off fund. Do you know what a difference having a side hustle/f*ck off fund would’ve made for me in those New York years when I was consistently terrified by a heinous boss? Oh man, it would’ve been a completely different story. Having this little f*ck off fund/side hustle of mine is one of the many reasons I felt comfortable going back to work last year. I knew if it didn’t work out, I wouldn’t be chained to a job I hated.
But There’s Pros and Cons
Because I don’t “need” a full-time job, I’m both an amazing employee (because I’m energetic and engaged and truly want to be there) and also terrible (because I do have a different attitude and approach than most corporate employees.)
I’ll admit, it’s been a super intricate dance of finding a place where I can do and be both – both a confident contributor, and also my own person and “brand.” It was difficult, but I did manage find a place where that balance can exist. I’m not talking about the job opportunity, but where I went back to work last year and am currently still employed.
….Let me finish that story.
So What Happened With the Other Job?
I thought I was on the fence about the opportunity because they were asking me to get rid of my security blanket, an extension of myself.
Then I realized it wasn’t just my security blanket they were asking me to throw away, it was part of my values. I value….
- Having the freedom to do what I want when it comes to my work.
- I value always being able to consistently stand on my own two feet, the “not having too many eggs in one basket approach.” I haven’t lived that way with one source of income for over five years, and I’m not sure I could go back.
- I value always being able to consistently stand on my own two feet.
I wish I could tell you I had an opportunity to pass on the job, but they passed on me before I was able. I will say that when it happened, rather than being upset, my stomachache went away and I slept very deeply.
Maybe this small story resonates with you, maybe it doesn’t
Perhaps it feels appalling to you, or risky. But that’s me. I don’t settle, and I ask for what I want and if I can’t have it I keep looking around until I can. And see? That’s the real beauty of a f*ck off fund. It empowers you (you – Goddess, Queen, Warrior) to never settle for less than what you deserve because you know you are the master of your own destiny, financial or otherwise.