Yes, a Divorce Party is a Thing.

Back in October, with the help of a few of my closest friends, I threw myself a divorce party. I got a few curious looks and comments as the party approached, but for the most part, the idea was championed far and wide. After all, we celebrate so many other milestones in life — why wouldn't I celebrate surviving the hardest 12 months of my life?

It is also one of my core financial values to spend on experiences – both big and small.  Celebrating this “milestone” if you will, was no exception. Below are the details on the how (and why) of my divorce party and how I saved my pennies for it.

Why I decided to have a divorce party in the first place

First, I have to put out there that I did not have a divorce party with a desire to shade my ex in any way. Or to celebrate the death of something once beautiful. My decision to have a party to capstone finalizing my divorce was to celebrate me. Nothing to do with my ex in the tiniest bit.

Me, who made a difficult decision to end a marriage.

Me, who endured the grief of that decision and the death of the life I'd always dreamt of.

Me, who quit being a stay-at-home Mom, moved out of the house and went back to work.

Me, who picked up the pieces and put her life back together.

Me, who in the darkest chapter of her life during a contested divorce, tended to her mental health diligently.

It was a brutal, brutal, brutal year. But I think anyone who chooses themselves and does a hard thing to get there should be celebrated (myself included, ha.) SURVIVAL should also be celebrated. More non-wedding/baby milestones, please!

How I saved for it

I also really wanted to do something girly and fun to celebrate with incredible women who supported me during this season of my life. I literally would not have made it without them. So, the party took on this reverse-bachelorette tone, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

As a cute throwback to my original bachelorette party, I chose to rent a party bus again. I called around and got quotes for this and found it would run around $800 for the night. I know this is a lot, but I really wanted to blow it out to celebrate everything being final and treat the women in my life to a special evening that was more than just your typical night out at a restaurant or dancing.  

I then started a goal for my divorce party in my Qapital app.

I started saving two months in advance (once I found out my mediation was scheduled and the divorce finalization was in sight.) Qapital lets you sock away a certain amount each month, plus they have “round up” rules that save a certain amount anytime you spend out of the account.

With my savings rules, plus an extra $200 from my freelance writing side hustle, I was able to fund the goal in full before the evening of the event.

I like that Qapital also lets you select photos for each savings goal. This one is obviously self-explanatory, but it is just a fantastic visual reminder of WHAT you are saving for.

The Finishing Details

It started with a quiet (but windy!) dinner at Grana here in Atlanta.

My friends surprised me with a palm reader which was the sleeper hit of the night. Everyone was talking about the tidbits Helene revealed.

Then after dinner, we walked to get on the bus and hit up several Atlanta night spots, and spent a bit of time doing Karaoke out on Buford Highway, so the bus came in handy as transportation to and from all the venues.

I stayed out way too late, was exhausted the next day, and had a hangover that reminded me exactly where I am in my mid-to-late-thirties (IYKYK) But still, it was a top, top night. I know this may sound silly, but I did feel lighter the next day. Like, “Okay, we partied and it is all really over. Now I’m ready to start the next chapter now.”

At this time I was also closing on a new home, doing my first tv segment in over a decade, and preparing for a move the following weekend. Because all of these large milestones things were happening at once after a year where I felt like my life had stalled out and was in limbo, I had a friend say to me, “This isn't just a party, it's a damn parade.